“Most of us say we hate war. Seeing endless news images of maimed and starving children, towns and cities reduced to rubble, swarms of desperate refugees, communities utterly devastated – it would be a pretty heartless person who didn’t agree that war is BAD!

So why do we keep doing it?

In this documentary I interview people from different fighting services – men and women, young and old – about how they found themselves in this situation, what they felt about it at the time, and the effects it had on them afterwards.

An Indian Colonel talks about his love for his army and his regret at not being involved in front line fighting. An upper class Englishman describes his excitement at going into a naval battle as a young Midshipman during the Suez crisis, and how he found himself responsible for the safety of the entire convoy. A young Israeli woman, with immense honesty, describes how serving as an officer – teaching other young people how to kill – changed her. She is now an educational psychologist and a member of Veterans for Peace. Another Englishman talks about how being in the army, facing enemy action – even being wounded – helped to support his exploration of what it is to be a man.

American veterans of the Vietnam War speak about the shame and guilt at what they have been part of – and the psychological scars that dictate the rest of their lives.

People find it very hard to speak about these things – the interviews were mostly snatched, with permission, rather than being properly set up. And I have the very deepest respect for the people who were willing to talk to me.”